Conditional Love
by Adarian
Summary: F!Hawke deals with a homophobic mother. Written for FemmeSlash February and a Kink-Meme request.


Hawke had never been one to believe in love at first sight. She didn't think such a connection was possible. She had been in lust before, fooling around with village girls in darkened corners, getting off knowing that it was completely physical.

But the moment she saw Isabela, her heart stopped. Foolishly, she thought that everything had led her to that moment.

She told Isabela this two years later when they finally ended up in bed together. She had laughed at Hawke lovingly, telling her that she was delusional. But Hawke knew, she knew that in those moments together, that this was special. This was worth fighting for.

Hawke knew she had the upper hand. She owned the Estate now. Her mother couldn't threaten to throw her out in the street or lock her in the attic. She wasn't a little girl anymore.

But that made her no less terrified when Leandra sat down beside her for dinner.

Her mother said cheerfully, "Hello, darling. I just ran into Seneschal Bran on my way here. He says you were doing a little work for the Viscount today. You know, I met his son the other day. Sam...Spencer...oh, I can't remember, but I was thinking, perhaps we can invite them both over for dinner, now that we have such a nice place. You should start courting. It's only reasonable for a single woman with a fortune to try to marry up in the world."

Hawke said almost silently, "I can't."

"What did you say, love?"

Hawke turned to her mouth, gulping, glancing up at Bodahn as he brought in the meal.

"Mother," she said softly, "I've met someone. I'm...I'm in love. Madly, desperately in love. I've never been so happy in my life."

"Well, what's all the secrecy about?" Leandra laughed, "That's wonderful. Tell me, who is he? He's not Lord Henneway, is it? I've heard he was asking about you. Tell me, does he have a good family? Some money?"

"No," Hawke smiled sadly, "She doesn't."

Leandra's face fell and she hissed, "What did you just say?"

"She has nothing," Hawke said, trembling, "She has no family to speak of, barely a coin to her name."

Leandra slapped her across the face and Hawke recoiled at the blow, shrinking from her mother. Leandra grabbed her arm, pulling her to her feet.

"Just because you've had some success doesn't mean I'm not still your mother," Leandra threatened, "You will listen to me, girl, and you will listen good. Your sinful perversions have gone on long enough. It's that whore, isn't it?"

"Her name is Isabela," Hawke protested.

Leandra threw Hawke on the ground. Bodahn ran in, but Hawke waved him off.

"You have a duty to this family," Leandra said, "You always have. I can't watch my daughter throw away her life for a woman. What will you do? What will they say? You live in sin, child. You spit on the Maker every time you look at that woman."

Hawke took a breath before she stood.

"I love her," Hawke said angrily, "And if the Maker has a problem with that, he can strike me dead where I stand."

Leandra slapped her again, "That's for blasphemy."

Hawke laughed out, holding her cheek.

Her mother snarled, "You've mocked me long enough with this filth. What do you intend to do? Marry her? Father her children? This is unnatural. Maker knows I've tried to raise you well. I punished you when it was needed, I prayed for you. But this...this is unforgivable. You're a grown woman now. You should know better."

"Get the hell out of my home," Hawke said, her voice shaking.

Leandra stood as if she had been struck, "What?"

"Get out," Hawke demanded, "Before I throw you out. You can stay with Gamlen, I don't care. But you cannot hurt me any more."

"You're choosing her over me?"

"A thousand times over," Hawke hissed.

Leandra huffed, leaving the room. Hawke followed her to the hall, watching as she paused at the door.

"If I leave now," Leandra warned, "I am not coming back."

"See if I give a damn," Hawke muttered.

The door slammed. Hawke made her way to the fire, the hound lying by her feet. She stood, holding the back of the chair. The tears came slowly until she found herself sobbing, slowly kneeling down behind the chair, burying her face in the material.

"Mistress," Bodahn called out gently, "Would you like me to send for Miss Isabela?"

Hawke nodded and whispered, "Thank you."


End file.
